We are mortal beings and time is short, we know, but we grieve the losses anyway, as they seem to mount lately. Nancy and Steve were here last month. Although they live in Montana, we have managed frequent visits over the years. Now, we will not see Steve again. He has moved on. He died at home with Nancy, in the Bitterroot Valley, a beautiful place, with the people who loved him most. Nancy opened the door to let his spirit out to the mountains. We are sad, but grateful to have known Steve, and counted him a friend.
Steve learned on March 20 that he had a mass on his liver that had spread already. There was nothing to be done about it. On April 20, Steve died, leaving more sadness than he could have expected. He was a quiet man with a wonderful sense of humor, and opinions he did not impose on people.
It is unusual in this technological age of cell phones and blogs to have a real cowboy friend, and Harry and I treasured Steve. He was also a horse shoer, and a wilderness guide. Steve seemed like a rough, tough character, but he was actually extraordinarily kind hearted. He loved animals and the wilderness. He and Nancy were a perfect partnership, and our hearts break for her.
To illustrate, Steve lent two of his good ranch horses, Jazz and Doc, to his daughter, who lived in Tennessee. When the horses were getting old, Steve drove from Montana to Tennessee to pick up those two horses and drove them back to Montana to retire. That is a round trip of over 4,000 miles! Steve was never put off by a long drive.
I don’t have the words to do justice to Steve Brawley. He never made it to 70, but he put more living into his time than most people do. He never, ever used a cell phone or social media, but he could find his way through the wilderness with ease. He could pull a calf, break a colt, and shoe a horse. Artificial Intelligence will never replace a genuine man like Steve.
Harry has a poem, Debtors, by Jim Harrison above his desk. It contains these lines …
“[Some] have run out of borrowed time while I’m alive wondering whom I owe for this indisputable gift of existence. Of course time is running out. It always has been a creek heading east, the freight of water with its surprising heaviness following the slant of the land, its destiny. What is lovelier than a creek or riverine thicket? Say it is an unknown benefactor who gave us birds and Mozart, the mystery of trees and water and all living things borrowing time. Would I still love the creek if I lasted forever?”
The memory of Steve will last a very long time, with the many people who knew and loved him. The only benefit of learning the end was imminent, is that many friends were able to come and visit Steve to let him know how much he was loved. We should all remember that life is often shorter than we expect, and we should express our affections.
Be safe, be well. Appreciate every day, and every friend. Slava Ukraini! Peace.
Steve had a permanently unaged face and a lovely direct curious gaze. Wish I’d met him.
I genuinely reveled in his company. He made plain talk the height of eloquence.
What a lovely photo-essay. Steve seems to have invested well that borrowed time. May his spirit dwell in the mountains and creeks he knew and within all who knew him.
That was a lovely tribute to your friend. It sounds like he was a truly special person in a world that is in short supply of such people. I’m so sorry for your loss.
How awfully sad for the world to have lost such a man as Steve.
Oh dear what a loss. Sending love and comfort to you all and Nancy.
Slava Ukraini
Peace
How terribly sad for Nancy. No matter how it happens, such a loss is devastating. But clearly it was a life well lived and there has to be comfort in that, to be remembered with such love.
Oh my, the losses, and Steve gone, one of your dearest friends of all; you have so many, a blessing. What a shock this must have been for him and Nancy. Anne, your tribute and Harry’s description of Steve’s eloquence, certainly the most poignant tribute I have ever read. Here we stand together in our time of losses, this tribute a harbinger of things to come, inevitably.
Cody Johnson has a new song “Till you Can’t ” and the words are so true and we all should live by them but so many times we have so many excuses. “If you have a chance take it, take it while you have the chance. If you have a dream chase it, cause a dream won’t chase you back. If your gona love somebody, hold on as long and as close as you can, till you can’t. ”
Take the time for the hug, the phone call, the visit, it cost so little and it means so much. Till you can’t!
I’m so sorry for yours and Harry’s loss. It’s been tough. Love the pictures of Steve and Montana. It’s a blessing that you have all of those wonderful memories . Take Care
I have no appropriate words to tell you how my heart hurts for you and Harry at the loss of your dear friend, but remember he has moved to a new neighborhood and you may always visit him always in your memories.
Karen, I love that way of looking at these departures! Thank you for that perspective.